Stream of thoughts

It’s amazingly incredible how often our thoughts swing inbetween deep dark melancholy world and utopian heaven of Euphoria. This condition gets specially fertilized when you are far away from the place you belong , forced to establish yourself in human world or civilisation is what it’s called. 
So many thoughts come and flow. Many follow the same pathway of getting mixed into ocean of forgotness. Some stays and strike you forever. Few gives you the everlasting pleasure. Many are misery filled with regret, remorse. Some erupts abruptly, clogging all pathway like volcano covering sky and dooming everything or light for a while. 
I cry .I laugh. I dream. I imagine. Silly , surrealtics or practical. When you are alone and lonely and in the verge of going to depression, many thoughts good or bad coming and going becomes norm. Rejection, failure, broken dreams. Every pieces of it sheds unforgettable tear. Rips your heart. And again every little success, give you happiness that momentarily makes you forget those hardship you are going through.
We all have different sets of life. One public, where you show your strength, compete, confirm yourselves as more deserving than other. The one where we fake most of ourselves and fool world .make people believe you as something you are truly not . This is survival instinct, we all compelled to adhere ourselves for the sake of survival and so called​ success.
Another is your closed circle life. Where you express your weaknesses​ and confess  many of those things you barred from public life. This is where your intimacy lies. Family Friends love one and close associate. This is where you realise importance of having company of any form.but there’s a harsh truth. Since public life occupies most of our part, we don’t get all we want. Some have great family and friends.some have love and friends. Some have family and love. Some sadistic, surrealtics or unlucky are limited with close associate only. Some crave for Family. Some crave for friends.Many crave for Love to battle together for public World. Not all relationship gets disclosed owing to unbearable pressure mounting from public life. For me, I have been privileged to have family, Friends and handsome number of closed associates. But love has been always repelling. Failing measurably to fight against the world. To feel the warmth and love from one person who consider you as whole world is the biggest virtue man can ever have.but seems like I have been devoid of this.this single factors weakens all your strength to win out public world.thus pushing you into another world.
This another World is called Private from all. None knows and everything you do go with your grave. This is where you express yourself truly when you are not bothered with public or personal life. Here you become truly yourselves. This may not always be on par with public or Closed circle life or may be absolutely different from these, But you are you here. Far away from fear of judgement. Fact is this is what you really want to be but often concealed from civilised world. Very lucky like saint or few rock stars or philosopher have ever lived this life more than other rest. Rest of us including you all reader,go into grave swinging between Personal and Public life and often getting scared of Private one.
As for me, I have been quite lucky enough with so much of alone time and soltitude, I could be what I really want to be. This is through all the poems and six words stories I write. Ally diary notes which I never get them upl
This was simply streams of thoughts that came on my mind .

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